To teach parents, caregivers, teachers and others who are in relationship with children communication that is based on connection and empathy.
WHAT IS parenting with nonviolence?
In nonviolent parenting, violence is defined as anything that harms the heart, mind, body or spirit of a child. It is a philosophy of raising children which emphasizes connected communication, compassionate listening and empathy. Nonviolent parenting looks at child raising through the lens of social justice and respects the profound dignity and essence of every child.
Marshall Rosenberg developed the nonviolent communication (NVC) process in the 1960s, believing that it is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving in a compassionate manner. Rosenberg believes that most conflicts between individuals or groups arise from unclear communication of their needs. When people use language that provokes fear, shame or guilt in a conflict situation, the other person’s attention is diverted. “Violent” language prevents people from seeing their feelings, needs and requests clearly.
NVC guides us in reframing how we express ourselves and hear others. Instead of being habitual, automatic reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling and wanting. We are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying others with respectful and empathic attention.
Language of the giraffe – language of the Jackal
NVC uses two animals as symbols. The giraffe is the land animal with the biggest heart. With her long neck she has a good overview and clear vision. The giraffe stands for compassionate communication. The second animal is the jackal, representing competition. Jackal language is about judging, criticizing, analyzing, moralizing and accusing. When we feel unfairly treated, accused or when we want to impose our wishes, we tend to use the language of the jackal. Jackal language is separating. Giraffe language is unifying.